


Ooh-Wee

by DeadpoolIsMySenpai



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Crack, Gen, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Orgy, garbage, protest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9896282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadpoolIsMySenpai/pseuds/DeadpoolIsMySenpai
Summary: Mr. Poopybutthole attempts to keep a crowd of angry fans over the lack of season 3 calm. Things go very wrong.





	

Mr. Poopybutthole sat alone in his apartment, swallowing another set of painkillers. He had a difficult job ahead of him - the network had ordered him to try to calm down a rabid, wild crowd of  _Rick and Morty_ fans protesting outside his apartment complex.

He couldn't really blame them. Was season 3 ever really coming? He had said "a year and a half...or longer", but no one was really expecting the 'or longer' part, were they? Not only that, but the network had gone out of there to "rickroll"/troll fans over the lack of season 3, pissing them off further.

From what Mr. Poopybutthole knew about angry fanbases, they could easily get violent. He was putting himself in serious danger by going out there, danger he hadn't felt since -

Mr. Poopybutthole gulped and rubbed his eyes, not wanting to flash back to his traumatic event. He had forgiven Beth. All was good.

All was good.

He could hear the loud shouts, glass breaking and police sirens outside. He had been lucky that nothing had managed to hit his apartment yet. But if he didn't act soon, things would only get worse.

_"You can do this, Mr. Poopybutthole."_ Mr. Poopybutthole whispered to himself, his hand tight around his cane. _"You can do this..."_

* * *

The elevator seemed to be going too fast. Mr. Poopybutthole had barely any time to reconsider before he was on the bottom floor of his apartment complex, where all of the protestors were. Their eyes read of bloodlust, their picket signs covered in profanities.

Mr. Poopybutthole slowly but surely walked outside of the apartment complex. As he arrived, the protesters began to stop shouting, all wanting to hear some kind of news on season 3.

However, he didn't have that news.

"Ooh-wee...sure is a nice day, isn't it?" Mr. Poopybutthole asked to the silent crowd, attempting to lighten the mood.

Things didn't get any less tense.

"Where's season 3?" One loud protestor demanded, wearing a large _Rick and Morty_ sweater and pajama bottoms with Rick's face on them.

"Well, um, about that..." Mr. Poopybutthole started, unsure what to say that wouldn't get him into trouble. "I'm...they're hard at work on it! It's coming, I promise!"

_That's good enough to calm them down, right?_ , Mr. Poopybutthole thought to himself.

Wrong.

A loud  _pop_ came from the crowd. One woman screamed. Mr. Poopybutthole had been wounded by the loud protestor from before, who had been carrying a handgun under his sweater. Blood squirted from his chest like a fountain.

"Ooh-wee." Mr. Poopybutthole moaned, sounding much less alarmed then before. He'd been through this before. "Jesus, this again..."

"Dude,  _too_ _far!"_ Another male protester shouted. "Shooting him isn't going to get us season 3 any sooner!"

**"WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!"** The loud protestor from before shouted, looking at the other protestor for the first time. His voice began to trail off as he finished his sentence, his expression much less angry. 

My god, he was gorgeous.

As the other protestor locked eyes with him, they could tell that they were in agreeance of their desire for each other. The two who had been fighting before came close and began making out.

Suddenly, a massive orgy began to break out in the crowd. No one can really explain why this happened, other then an attempt to distract themselves from the fact that season 3 was ever happening.

However, one young woman pulled herself from the protestors. She came up to the wounded Mr. Poopybutthole even though the crowd neglected him.

Mr. Poopybutthole's blurred vision still made a clear picture of the woman: a kind face, long blonde locks, and a slender figure. She had a worried expression on her face, concerned for his wellbeing unlike the rest of the horny crowd.

A tingly feeling was in Mr. Poopybutthole's chest...was this love?

No, he was just slowly bleeding out.

"We need to get you to a hospital." The young woman said, grabbing ahold of the little man and rushing him to her car. "I'm Violet, by the way."

"Violet...that's a nice name." Mr. Poopybutthole replied, struggling to keep himself up straight. "Ooh-wee, that's a nice name."

"You're not going to die on me, alright? Everything's going to be alright."

Violet was so sweet, so kind.

Perhaps the tingly feeling in Mr. Poopybutthole's chest wasn't just from the blood loss...

 


End file.
